What We Are Missing

Posted: April 6, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Ever imagined what life would be like in the garden of Eden? Well, I have and in my head it’s super cool.. just too cool *wipes tears*. I’m sure I’m not alone, some of you have also pictured what we’d be doing now if we were still in the garden all naked and shii 😉 (no dirty thoughts now *adjusts halo*). Well, I cooked up a few awesome assumptions in my head.

      Top on the list (yes! this is the one that saddens me the most about this life), there would be no need for any formal education whatsoever! Like no need for school; classes, tests, exams and the depression that comes with the whole thing. No lecturers that make you doubt the existence of your brain, no having to study all the time and sometimes the studying won’t even pay off (spirits from the village (-__-). Along with the school part is the fact that there would be no need for job hunting. It’s crazy really how these people know most of the people searching for jobs are fresh graduates and they’ll be asking for 5 years experience, where’s the experience supposed to come from if you can’t get the job in the first place? No boss that makes you contemplate murder, and no need to lose your dignity over some figures, none of that in the garden of Eden. There might not even be any need to work. just eat and sleep all you want! I’m sure there would be no weight criticism in the garden so fatties like me don’t need to stay off anything, eat anything and everything… oh my *drools* (♥⌣♥). Back to the matter * in Wizkid’s voice*

      No need for electricity (to a Nigerian, that means no suffering). Really! Imagine a world where PHCN has got nothing on us, because we don’t even need their measly service. (No power for about a week now (⌣́_⌣̀) )
      Oh yeah one of the most heartbreaking of them all when I think of it, in the garden of Eden, no childbirth pains. I remember when I was younger I wanted to be a nun so bad, not because I didn’t want to be with someone for the rest of my life (I mean who would watch Titanic and not want to fall in love?), but because I wanted to escape it. In Eden it would probably just be “hold on the baby’s coming” *2 seconds later* “you were saying?”. Eve why??? (۳º̩̩́_º̩̩̀)۳.

      People, in the garden of Eden there would be no cars, hence no traffic. Imagine life without traffic, Lagos traffic especially. Lagos traffic makes me think about my life, every single time. I just stare and wallow in mistakes and sadness and all that, None of that in Eden. 😦

     Errr I also assume that since we’d be all innocent and stuff, you’ll probably just grow up, have feelings for someone and marry the person, no complications, boy issues and all that. And maybe it’ll be perfectly normal for women to make the first move too and the man can’t turn her down because we’d all love each other (˘⌣˘ʃƪ). Note to the one that got away: in Eden, we’d have been together forever with 3 kids *sniffs* … or better still, I’d be married to Channing Tatum. Oh my *swoons*

    We wouldn’t need money. Do you have any idea how amazing that would have been? Practically everything we do revolves around the urge to make money. We need it for everything. It’s the reason I’m still in school (dad, hope you’re not reading this?). It’s the reason for all the hard work. I think I say “I need money” more than I say anything else. All the stuff we need money for would be taken care of already.

    There would be no government, just God and angels I presume. The average Nigerian somehow finds a way to blame the government for every single problem of his and those in power make it so easy too. There would be no intoxicated, pot bellied guy that wakes up one day and decides to change the classy name of a federal university to… well y’all know what happened.

    We’d all probably have what we call superpowers right now. Like it’d be normal for everyone to fly when you don’t want to walk, teleport, pass through objects and so on. The number of times I’ve tried to move objects with my mind is so embarrassing :(.

    Music would be provided by the angels so these artists won’t be able to torture us the way they do, singing about booty and money and popping bottles and all that crap.
    Icing on the cake, death will have nothing on us! Although I’m sure people like me would get bored but then it’s better than having to go through one of those Final Destination types of death *shivers* I’d rather be bored for eternity please.
    *snaps back to reality* I need a job. Bye folks 😀

Authored by Kanyinsola (@MsTeeDairo)

Kanyinsola’s one of our authors here at La Critique and runs her own blog at http://whisperingnotes.wordpress.com.

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Comments
  1. kunle olawale says:

    Ahahaha! I hope I laughed right. *confused smiley*. This was a good read, Kanyin! I hope I got your name right.

  2. 'Lola says:

    As Kunle said, I enjoyed reading this… Couldn’t stop reading! LOL!! Nice one Kanyin

  3. jiraiya says:

    Well,I still havnt 4given them! Esp Eve! I shld be butt naked sipping on some wine right now! Or maybe I wouldn’t exist if they dint commit! Lol

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