The Male Child Madness

Posted: October 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

It was in the days of yore…
No that’s not how this article starts

Two young lovers walk hand in hand through the park,seemingly oblivious to the people and things around them. All that matters is their love and the fact that they’ve pledged their lives to each other and hope to spend forever together, even though the guy’s mother is against his being with the girl…

Ok this isn’t any sloppy star crossed lovers story either! (Pffft! As if)

This is a story about papa jamie and mama jamie. So papa jamie and mama jamie (I’m going to be saying this a lot so bear with me) fell in love,(how do I know they fell in love? Isn’t it possible that they shagged and mama jamie got preggies and the dude had †o do ‎​the noble thing? Well for the purpose of this story, they fell in love. That’s my story ‎​and I’m sticking with it).
So, Mama Jamie and Papa Jamie fell in love,courted and got married. It wasn’t a match made in heaven, it wasn’t all butterflies,rose gardens and lilies but it was a union. Papa Jamie had ‎​a good job with one of the leading insurance companies,made good money and of course was a guy who loved to live life. He was his mother’s only son so she had spoilt him rotten and made him believe women were meant for just one thing; ‘service’. It was with this notion that he married ‎​and lived with mama jamie. He of cos asked her not to work, so all she did was stay in the house and wait for him till he got back from work and tended to him hand and foot! This worked for them and the marriage went on. After 2 years, Jamie was born,beautiful and sweet little Jamie. Jamie was a beautiful and smart little girl (please don’t be bored with this cool story, I’m actually going somewhere).
So they were one big happy family with both Mama and Papa Jamie, doting on little Jamie. All was well until questions began to be asked.
Years have passed and it’s just been Jamie, what’s happening with them? Is it that they have problems? Are they so family planning concious that they want just one child? And get this, Jamie is a girl! Hmmmm, just one child and it’s a girl? Na wa oh,wetin we go use girl pikin do na? Girl wey go marry fo husband house?! Hmmm something needs to be done.
Papa Jamie’s mother took up the fight, she reminded him how she had given birth †o him and how that was what kept his father’s name alive, who was gonna do that for him? Jamie’s just a girl remember? “Mama,God’s time is the best” he said, “we’re trying hard,I love my wife and I’m sure God is going to bless her soon…”. It was a fierce battle,and still Jamie kept growing. Mama Jamie kept trying but nothing happened. Papa Jamie started to play away matches. His patience grew thin. I mean he loved his wife and daughter(or did he?) But it was getting tiring, he needed another child, no, he needed a boy that would carry his name. Never mind the fact that Jamie was one of the most intelligent kids in her school, both academic and every other way you could think of but that was not just enough!
Things took a nose dive, papa Jamie got retrenched from work but he was paid a good amount of money,he went shopping and splurged on everything you could think of! He had grand plans of what he wanted to do with his money but first you had to live, right? The fights became worse, obviously papa jamie already had a girlfriend that was pregnant for him. Finally, his heir was going to be born! Mama Jamie on her part, and through some smart means, got some money off him and started fashion school. The fights continued, and on one very beautiful day, Mama Jamie woke up and Papa Jamie was gone. Without any trace or any word! Jamie was ten,she couldn’t understand why her beloved Dad would just leave them. Mama jamie was distraught, she had hoped against hope that this day wouldn’t come. Hadn’t she been a good serving wife? Was she God? Well, life moved on and it was discovered that papa jamie relocated with his girlfriend who was carrying his heir. Of course nothing was too much for his unborn child so he went all out! Precious was born some months later. Precious was a girl!
The disappointment was too much for papa jamie,another girl? After all these years? Kaiii! Life is cruel, but life wasn’t done with him. Between relocating and building a new life for himself, papa Jamie ran outta cash. That plenty money then was gone and he had achieved nothing,oh sorry he now had a brand new family…

Jamie is 20 years old now, doing beautifully for herself. Her mother is surviving with her fashion designing business, as well as dedicating herself fully to God… Papa Jamie is a security guard as he hasn’t been able to get anything better and his wife has 3 more girls! The other day I asked Jamie how her dad was doing and she said’ no mind that fuck up man, im wife don born another girl na, when dem born reach ten dem go born boy no worry,I dey pray for am” ‎​she laughed and continued what she was doing! It was a laughter tinged with bitterness as she had now grown to understand why it is, her father left…

The male child madness is inherent in our society, that women who have only female children are made to feel barren! I know someone who’s almost 36 and just gave birth to her 7th child all in the name of ‘looking for a boy’. When will it stop? Who’s to blame? Is God the giver of life wrong for giving you only female children? Is the man wrong for not sticking to his wife? Is the wife to blame for not seeking more help and praying more? Questions! questions!! I don’t have the answers but the male child syndrome is one of the things wrong with this world and there doesn’t seem to be yet a solution in sight!

P.S: I pray not to marry a papa Jamie, or give me a son as annoying as Sheldon Cooper from ‘The Big Bang Theory’ 😛
Peace out y’all!

Authored by Helen

Helen is one of our authors here at La Critique and can be reached at
Follow her on Twitter @HaYchRoxx

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  1. adeola says:

    Its nt papa jamie’ fault assuming d mother didn’t interfere dis myt nt av hapened.male or female abeg dey r all children any moda inlaw dat is lukin for a male child should create 1 hersef

  2. henry says:

    Cool story. I’m a male child but pray not to be papa Jamie. Nice illustration.

  3. jiraiya says:

    U forgot to add…its d guys fault! The man carries the Y chromosone for a boy,its his fault his genes aint as strong as the womans X! Lol. Papa Jamie the bloody wanker! Reminds of my good ol frnd…El!

  4. blessing says:

    One more reason I wonder if our race is cursed. Who was dumb enough to imply women can’t carry ur name on? It is a freaking name for Christ’s sake!

  5. Patrick says:

    Omo Jamie name too funky for the Papa and Mama. Lol. Na word o. Papa jamie just pass my street now dey scream say im don hear you o.

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