Letter To My Dear Pastor

Posted: September 12, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Dear Pastor,
How are you? Don’t bother trying to check how you are so you can give me an appropriate reply. I will do my best to be honest: I don’t care. I merely ask as a formality. So let’s start again. Dear Pastor, how are you?

I have a few questions, pastor. These are questions I have been taught by you and others like you since my childhood not to ask, because, according to you, they are blasphemous. And then when I do manage to ask a question that is not blasphemous but is beyond your ken, you are swift to tell me, “the Lord works in mysterious ways,” and “make it to heaven then you can ask him anything.” But pastor, I will ask you these now, because I do not want to wait till I get to heaven, and truth be told, the God most of you preach about has such ridiculously high standards that I am not sure I would be in heaven… Enough dilly dallying, pastor; I will ask my questions now.

Pastor, you say that God has given man free will. Man can do whatever he chooses. Man has to choose to come to God by himself, or to go the other way. And yet, if man chooses to go the other way, which he is so naturally inclined to, you say I will be condemned to the fires of hell. Perhaps you are right. But my question is, what kind of free will is that? Imagine you tell your son, your preference is that he keeps eating apples all his life, but if he wanted, he could eat a variety of other things; however, if he were to choose the variety, then he should know that you would be constrained to cut off his tongue. How is that free will? A man wants to do what he wants to do, but cannot do it because he is under the threat of everlasting damnation, so he does that which he does not want to do and is supposed to delude himself into thinking that he has freely chosen? I do not ask to make a point, or to deride your faith pastor. I ask merely because I am confused and every day I wonder…

Pastor… I have other questions… This time, it is on the subject of sexuality. These days you –or at least most of the Church – as well as society do not bat an eyelid anymore at fornication, or “cohabitation” or anything of that sort. Everybody does it these days, it’s no big deal. Chances are if you’re seventeen and up, you’re no virgin. You know your way around the human anatomy, are a sexual artist of sorts. Then on Sundays, we all don our church wears and lift up “holy hands”. No biggie. Sunday is enough to atone for the sins of the week. But the moment we hear even just a rumor, however unverified or untrue it is, about a certain man and another man fornicating with each other, or see some random picture of two girls kissing on Twitter, everyone is suddenly a saint. Everyone suddenly knows for sure that those four are going to hell. And the rest of us? Oh we’ll get off easy. God would rather have us straight fornicators that then gay ones, right? Pastor… I thought the bible said a sin is a sin is a sin. What happened to make everyone forget that? Why are we so quick to judge issues we do not understand; to judge even when we are no saints ourselves? To claim with pride, “I’m still a virgin,” but cross our legs and tighten our crotches to relieve the itch? Or spend more time than necessary washing our privates? By the way, pastor… is that a sin? Masturbation, I mean. One other pastor said it wasn’t. Perhaps I am in the wrong church. Plus the doctors say it’s good for your health, and I intend to live a very healthy life. Forgive me pastor, I did not mean to make you blush. I do not ask to make a point, or to deride your faith pastor. I ask merely because I am confused and every day I wonder at all I have been spoon fed.

My next question, Pastor. Say I were born an Afghan. Say I were raised to become a terrorist, and taught that God would be pissed off at me if I didn’t kill the infidels, and taught right from a young age that that was all I was made to do. Say I had absolutely no access to the bible, to Christian preaching, and knew zilch about Jesus Christ. And the day comes, when I am to make a big killing for God, the version of God I have been taught of… and I strap that bomb to my chest and walk into some embassy, and with a smile, knowing I am carrying out the will of God. I push the button and take everyone with me… Will I go to hell? I love to read the bible, pastor. So many nuggets of truth in there. I know tithing works, for instance. But I digress… the bible says Jesus is the way, the truth and the light, and unless a man be born again and believe in his name, he shall not be saved. So… I am a blown up Afghan now, who believed a different truth entirely, and was not taught anything about Christ. Does this mean I go to hell? Or… is it Abraham’s bossom, or purgatory, until I’ve paid off my sins? Wouldn’t that kind of make the whole crucifixion thing pointless? And wouldn’t that be unfair, that only people like me get that option, and everyone else gets judged straight away? See, I have not read anything about that in the bible. And I have read the bible, took my time from cover to cover. And I know you may answer and say, that God would then judge me, the Afghan, according to my morals, values and conduct. What morals? What values? What conduct? The ones taught to me by my mentors, who also taught me to die killing infidels is the highest honour? And I dare say, in that case, God, or to be more apt, your construct of God, is very unfair, and unjust. This brings me to yet another question, but before that, let me reiterate: I do not ask to make a point, or to deride your faith pastor. I ask merely because I am starting to find that the answers I have been given do not quite add up.

Pastor… Where are my forefathers? The ones who worshipped Ogun, Esu, Amadioha and others? The ones who were here before the white man came with this Bible you now tote around? Oh and did you know, that Christianity was put in place to give the people unquestionable reason to submit to the powers that be? Not just here, but over there where it came from. Do I doubt miracles, you ask? No. I have seen them. I have laid hands on several people and had them healed. I have, upon divine prompting, said a thing or two to some people, and it turned out that was what they needed to hear. I still manifest personal miracles in my life. I do not say any of this to brag… But I must ask… Is it possible, that we are the ones responsible for that, not God? That God did not “give” us this power? That we are too scared of how much we are capable of so we ascribe it all to God? Is it possible, pastor, that WE are God? This is what the bible says, is it not? “Ye are gods…” And if God is me, and I am God, then I set the rules for myself… But I sense I am getting ahead of myself here, so I will leave this for another day. But back to my question… are my forefathers in hell? I do not ask to make a point, or to deride your faith pastor. I ask merely because it’d be nice to know they’re not suffering. Especially the good ones.

Pastor… Who is right? Should I become a Catholic? Please say no. I have nothing against Catholics. In fact, their orderly manner of doing things, I find very impressive. And their devotion… that’s something else to be admired. But there would be way too much to learn, and being the wild one I am, it would not end well at all. So who’s right? The Protestants? The Anglicans? The Mormons? And just when I finally settle on one, the deeper lifers tell me my soul will rot in hell because of these very tiny studs I’m wearing in my ears. And then when I decide to look to some other religion, I find it also has its own complexities and whatnot… Who do I believe? Also, you say that there may be other religions in which miracles are wrought as well, just like in Christianity, but that as Jesus said, this is how we would be different: our love for one another. I am sure he meant something much deeper, Pastor, because the way you put it makes me wonder. There are people out there: Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, and so on, who have genuine love for one another, that would put even the “best” of Christians to shame. So what does this mean? That they are Christians too, even though they believe in something or someone other than Jesus? Remember, I do not ask to make a point, or to deride your faith pastor. I ask merely because every day it seems to me that truth is relative.

Dear Pastor, you and your followers talk about the end time. And rapture. And praying to be one of those who make it in the end….. It is all well and good, say the world does end soon, but the question is, who is going to make the cut, and who won’t? If I were to judge myself by the standards I have been taught, I dare say, I wouldn’t make it. I know how to speak Christianese, and I know how to look and act the part. But my head? Even when I make conscious decisions to try out having wholesome thoughts only, I find myself straying. At the end, you might say, Christianity is all a matter of faith and the heart and grace. But then, wouldn’t that nullify everything everyone else is saying? nI other words, it doesn’t matter what denomination as long as you believe in Christ. Uh oh… Look out, Jehovah’s Witnesses…. They’re more into God than Christ, right? I don’t know. I’m ignorant. For the umpteenth time, Pastor, I do not ask to make a point, or to deride your faith pastor. I ask merely because it seems to me, that a God who would cast in hell even the genuinely good-hearted people, who claims to be the very essence of love but cannot, with all his love, stop people from heading to hell or get rid of hell altogether (if it exists)… is… well …

Dear pastor… Please… Answer. I sense I have come to my own truth, but each time I think I have arrived at it, I find truer truths… if there is such a thing. Yes, there should be such a thing… cold is the absence of heat, not the opposite; darkness the absence of light, not the opposite…

Try not to judge me, Pastor, and you Christian, who Pastor has allowed to read this letter… I know you may say that I have allowed the devil to mess with my mind. On the contrary, all I have done is think upon what I have learnt thus far. The bible encourages us to think about what we have been taught, to test it all. And I have been taught too many contradicting things, that I inevitably got to asking questions. Faith, is good. No doubt about it. But Pastor, faith in incongruent “truths” is no faith at all. So please clarify. For until you do, I shall stick to my thoughts on these matters, and perhaps later abandon those thoughts as they evolve to something higher. And if you want to suggest again, that I ask the Lord when I get to heaven…

Well then… I’m in a catch twenty-two. In other words, and pardon my French, pastor:

I’m screwed.



Authored By Vanessa;

Vanessa is one of our admins here at LaCritique and can be reached at flyyness@gmail.com

Follow her on Twitter @VanessaKanu , follow La Critique @LaCritique_ng

  1. adeola says:

    Dis is interesting bt I disagree wit somtin’ here

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